“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient enough for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
A canyon begins to crack in its frailty. The force of the river which runs through it is so strong that the earth splits open, light christens the dark, and new life is breathed into the canyon walls. I am the canyon. My wounds are the openings through which the light of the knowledge of God’s glory shines forth. God’s strength and power show themselves most effective in my weaknesses.
“For God, who said, ‘Let the light shine out of darkness,’ made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.” (2 Corinthians 4:6-7)
I’ve spent so much time trying to tend to the wounds of my past. Whether that be regrets, losses, or failures; and yet, the wounds never seem to heal. Perhaps it’s because I’ve been trying to bandage wounds that have not yet been thoroughly cleansed. Up until 2014, I had been pushing God away, believing that I could take care of myself. Since I became a Christian, God has reopened the wounds of the past. He has broken the chains and breathed new life into my heart. The force of His Almighty power has began to wash away the sorrows of a life I once knew. I believe that when I stray away from God (as I have several times since becoming a Christian) I’m attempting to cover up the wounds that God is still in the process of cleansing.
The first moments of a old memory resurrected, or an aching regret remembered can be painful, perhaps even unbearable. But turning to alcohol in an attempt to sooth this pain, is just like putting band-aid over a dirty scrape. The bad feelings fester and itch, they become red and inflamed begging for cool relief. God is that relief. It is not until we invite Him to thoroughly cleanse our wounds that they can properly heal.
We are only humans, and it is completely natural for us to experience times of weakness. It’s natural for our thoughts to wander away from God. And that is why we have to keep our focus on him, so that he may turn our weaknesses into strengths, and our thoughts into prayers.
God, I openly and wholeheartedly invite you to reopen and properly cleanse all of my wounds—past, present, and future. I want to feel the rush of your cool embrace gently wash away the dirt and debris that has been building up over the last 27 years. Thank you for the relief you have given me. Thank you for my continued sobriety. You have breathed new life into me once again, and I come to you with a grateful heart. Amen.